Gahh I just dont wanna feel like this no moree, it sucks! I have so much things i wanna say but i cant and im stopping myself before i ruin everything. sigh this is so difficult! I wanna get the heck outta this stagee frealss! If only things can go the way ya want it mm but it never does or atleast most of the time. ugh it suckss how i have to stop myself to say what i wanna cuz i love to be upfront lol and just blabber! I have so many questions to ask but no opportunities to do so ._. i try to keep myself busy to stop thinking because my imagination and mind runs wild and it just kills me! I can barely sleep a good 5 hrs every night and waking up in the middle of the night like i am insomniac or crazyy! I just wish i can get awayy!
Mmm anywayss, all day i had "I just want you by aj rafael" stuck in my headdd! the beats soo catchy! I have a lott of hw today sadlyy -_- Im currently really tired and my feet hurts from walking around japantown from store to store to ask if they wanna participate in mpr thang thang. mm on my bus ride home with a girlie, we had a longg talk about thangs and I feel relieved a tad bit. This conversation made me think about a lot of things, like what if this happen that way or what if that didnt happen mhm alotta those thoughts.
Mmm anywayss, all day i had "I just want you by aj rafael" stuck in my headdd! the beats soo catchy! I have a lott of hw today sadlyy -_- Im currently really tired and my feet hurts from walking around japantown from store to store to ask if they wanna participate in mpr thang thang. mm on my bus ride home with a girlie, we had a longg talk about thangs and I feel relieved a tad bit. This conversation made me think about a lot of things, like what if this happen that way or what if that didnt happen mhm alotta those thoughts.
audrey, you are my best friend and i worry for you, and i care about you. and best friends are there for each other. so im going to tell you what i think. it seems like you are choking yourself. you're not letting yourself breathe. and you constantly tell yourself to get over it. but in reality if you keep forcing yourself, and you're not going to get over it. let yourself go. cry if you want to cry. yell if you want to yell. its ok to be weak. let your weakness take over you cus no one is that strong. no one is watching you. and nobody cares if you are weak. cus everyone is week themselves. and i know i know i know its not easy, it never is. but im telling you that one day, someday, this will all end. it wont be easy, i promise you.but just know that if its not ok, its not the end. cus in the end, you will be ok. and please stop giving work to yourself, to get your mind off of things. stop worrying. stop telling yourself to do this to do that. don't tell yourself to get over it cus if you keep telling yourself you are just going to keep thinking about it. Let God take control of your life. don't think about the future. think about the present.if you still have feelings you still do. but let God help you. He is carrying you right now. His plans are good. God is good. He wants what is best for you. ANd if he takes something away, he will always give you back so much more. you're never alone ok? im here for you. if you want to talk about it, talk. dont hold anything in. dont think you are stupid or whatever. cus you're not. and im sorry. i wish i can take all the pain away from you. but i can't. and you know that God is crying with you. God doesnt want you to hurt. I don't want you to feel like this either. please for me, let yourself go. let yourself cry. let yourself be sad. let yourself think.let yourself talk. Im here for you. and im not just saying. everytime you feel sad, im feeling sad too. =[
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