Kristie convinced me to make a blog&sadly I had to delete my bebo :[
This was originally from my bebo from earlier today:
Hmm so today when I woke up I finally felt like I wanted to blog. Someone once told me that if you had a lot in mind, then write it out and afterward youd feel a relief. From now on I will blog whenever I have a lot in mind to release some of the bottled up thoughts within.
MM where should I start? well these past two and a half months has been an emotional roller coaster for me. These couple of months I have cried many times and have had on a happy face pretending that nothings wrong, when deep down im feeling so much pain. So much has happened and I just cant let go. Every little thing just reminds me or leads my mine to it. Although I said "I have accepted the reality", deep down I'm just not ready to let go. I really did try and tried hard to move on from this subject but the memories just pull me back from letting go. Im trying to be strong and not let the feelings bug me but im just so tired of being strong, sometimes I wish I can be weaker so I can release the pain easier. Gahh -_- im like making it so hard on myself, I agree. I guess its b/c I never felt like this before and Im so new to this feeling that it scares me. I always question god, why me, why do i have to be the one that feel like this. but the truth is everyone feels like this atleast once in their life and its just my turn. One thing I would never regret is that I took the risk to open up to this subject and that I actually tried to resolve the brokenness but this subject just didnt try but gave it an ending.
Listening to the motivational speaker at Friday's assembly made me think "wow god sent him to talk to us, to have him help heal our brokenness and that god does hear me/us that we need help" The motivational speaker was amazingg! I realized that the risk I took to open up to this subject in my life was not a mistake. Its a step that I was willing to take and I was strong enough to do so. By opening up, I was real and what I heard that day " the real you is the most powerful you." Atleast I was direct to it and didnt lie about my feelings. I do not regret even if it didnt turn out how I wanted it to but I do regret why I didnt open up earlier. If I could open up and be real & truthful about my feelings, why cant you? Dont hold yourself back, just take the risk. "If you dont ask, you wont get" and you will live life with regrets instead of to live life to the full. Do what makes you happy, be with who makes you smile, and live life to the full. Dont let anything stop you from getting what you want.
This was originally from my bebo from earlier today:
Hmm so today when I woke up I finally felt like I wanted to blog. Someone once told me that if you had a lot in mind, then write it out and afterward youd feel a relief. From now on I will blog whenever I have a lot in mind to release some of the bottled up thoughts within.
MM where should I start? well these past two and a half months has been an emotional roller coaster for me. These couple of months I have cried many times and have had on a happy face pretending that nothings wrong, when deep down im feeling so much pain. So much has happened and I just cant let go. Every little thing just reminds me or leads my mine to it. Although I said "I have accepted the reality", deep down I'm just not ready to let go. I really did try and tried hard to move on from this subject but the memories just pull me back from letting go. Im trying to be strong and not let the feelings bug me but im just so tired of being strong, sometimes I wish I can be weaker so I can release the pain easier. Gahh -_- im like making it so hard on myself, I agree. I guess its b/c I never felt like this before and Im so new to this feeling that it scares me. I always question god, why me, why do i have to be the one that feel like this. but the truth is everyone feels like this atleast once in their life and its just my turn. One thing I would never regret is that I took the risk to open up to this subject and that I actually tried to resolve the brokenness but this subject just didnt try but gave it an ending.
Listening to the motivational speaker at Friday's assembly made me think "wow god sent him to talk to us, to have him help heal our brokenness and that god does hear me/us that we need help" The motivational speaker was amazingg! I realized that the risk I took to open up to this subject in my life was not a mistake. Its a step that I was willing to take and I was strong enough to do so. By opening up, I was real and what I heard that day " the real you is the most powerful you." Atleast I was direct to it and didnt lie about my feelings. I do not regret even if it didnt turn out how I wanted it to but I do regret why I didnt open up earlier. If I could open up and be real & truthful about my feelings, why cant you? Dont hold yourself back, just take the risk. "If you dont ask, you wont get" and you will live life with regrets instead of to live life to the full. Do what makes you happy, be with who makes you smile, and live life to the full. Dont let anything stop you from getting what you want.
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